(24 Ways I can understand included)
My name is Heidi. I am located in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I work with mothers with custody related issues worldwide. I also have a lot of access to support for women and mothers who have or are being abused.
I am able to provide some emotional support, some spiritual support, some financial resources and many other resources. I am able to help you stay focused and keep you working toward your goals no matter what country you are in.
I also administrate many different "Mothers without Custody" and related groups all over the world.
I can facilitate moms one on one or in a group atmosphere. I can meet with them in public or in a private confidential professional office setting.
I have many different resources for support globally. There are many different branches of the group to be able to accommodate any situations including the mothers at risk.
I can help install the confidence needed to ensure success with reasonable goals no matter how bad matters have become. You should be able to come to a place where you should be able to maintain or restart a healthy relationship with your children.
You may need referrals to help with substance abuse, alcoholism, depression, or other issues that can prevent you from receiving custody, etc.
The goal is to continue supporting local support groups globally and for moms to keep being able to meet up in and to always have available someone to talk to through various sources of support in their areas.
I can only speak from my own experiences and custody related issues and the deep anguish and exasperating pain I can associate with. Many legal resources are also available if you need references.
There is a lot of support out there I know and what I'm offering is a safe haven where love and peace reside. Strength can come from many different sources and I have found a strength beyond compare for my own and to see others through. I have found a strength that comes out of the deepest recesses of my heart, rooted in protecting and providing for these little ones and some not so little anymore.
I understand what it is like to:
1) Have to work hours around court ordered visits to my child.
2) To be falsely accused and lied about with no evidence to support it (due to not documenting the things that would have provided that evidence and not realizing that things would ever go to court in the first place. Be prepared to cover yourself in this way. Be wise.)
3) Have to go through Phase Groups to learn how to attract a healthy relationship. To learn how to be a healthy person especially when you were not completely raised that way and to know how to make sure your children can be raised in healthy environments.
4) To have supervised access to my child because of unreasonable people due to false allegations.
5) To have unreasonable people challenge me in court for my child and for their own power and controlling, selfish and manipulative purposes.
6) To have a court order stating that I was to supervise the other parent after getting custody back.
7) To wonder if I would ever get my child back or if I would ever have healthy access. To feel like giving up many times.
8) To be fighting several different custody battles at the same time.
9) To have my life threatened by the father for taking the right legal steps.
10) To have my now adult child say to me, "How come you weren't there for me?" when the true reason was that "I was not allowed to be", and then not be able to talk to that adult child much about it. (This has now been successfully resolved)
To have that same adult child as mentioned in walk out of his fathers house not on good terms at the age of 20 once he realized the truth about me after all these years and let his dad know he was no impressed with the unfair power and control he was also exposed to.
12) To try to rebuild a relationship with my child after they've spent many years living with the other parent where the separation slowly over time deteriorated our relationship almost completely.
13) To be truly concerned about my child being kidnapped and taken over seas.
14) To deal with a father who is a different religion and culture completely.
15) To be yelled at for 20 minutes or more straight as loud as possible while picking up my child from court ordered visits for well over a year.
16) To be cross-examined and have to sit in court hearings you really have no say over.
17) To deal with a father on narcotics.
18) To be stalked many years ago for custody related issues (no longer happening) and not have any proof of it.
19) To try to stay focused and on track after the initial separation and after as well till I became stronger again.
20) To let circumstances related to custody wear me down almost to the point of thinking it could be hopeless to continue fighting.
21) To be great with children for many years, helping raise my own siblings, babysitting weekly (or more) at a time, working in a Daycare that my son was in so that I could be with him, being a Girls Camp Leader, being a Live-In Nanny for long periods of time, volunteering in Kindergarten class, was a Sunday School Teacher/Secretary and President for many years, only to be told by a court assessor that my child should live with their abusive dad.
22) To have absolutely NO support at times from family, after being cut off from friends due to the fathers controlling nature.
23) To feel like my own confidence in my parenting abilities start fading due to so many put downs due to different parenting method ideas, knowing I was a dang good parent.
24) Having to gain support from Parents Support places for years, to help regain the lost confidence back as a parent.
There needs to be a support network across the borders and in our own cities to gain empowerment for mothers who are dealing with these issues. From experience there is not enough support out there and it is hurting our relationships with our children.
Precious time is being lost with our children that may never get made up forever.
I will never be able to rock my child to sleep as a (baby) because that has all been take away from me due to the age.
I have to appreciate the time I have now and move on, continuing to do the things that I can with what time I have left.